Utah, my land of childhood dreams – I fancied being a cowboy. It’s an iteration of infantile morality, a mindset of dualism. You know, either all good or all bad. Cowboys were heroes, maybe even super-heroes. In my imagination nearly-perfect humans standing against the evils of a lawless frontier, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. No, wait! I’m confusing my heroes. Well any way, aren’t skiers cast in this genre? And isn’t Utah the land to which all good skiers go in the sweet-bye-and-bye?
Colorado claims this fame, but verily, verily Utah has earned the label “Ski Heaven”. Here’s why:
1. There are shorter lines at fewer times. Frequently none at all.
2. The prices are lower. I suspect there might be fewer lawyers initiating less spurious, frivolous suits. OK granted, I’m still fantasizing, but more likely Utah has less government regulations that drive up prices. Or maybe Utahans are more family oriented thus strive to keep prices reasonable.
3. Utahans are easy-going, lay back, and friendly.
4. Utah women are pretty. Oops, I retract what might be inaccurately construed a “sexist” statement. I apologize to one and all. Every woman is good-looking: I appreciate God’s gifts; and I’m developing an eye for art. Please accept my apology and recognize my transgression as merely a matter of perspective.
4. Salt Lake City has a good airport with more than adequate service.
5. Many ski areas are less than an hour’s commute from the airport.
6. Utah has a goodly number of 1K’s plus nice local areas.
7. Utah invented the “Wasatch Powder Machine”. The high desert climate is dry. Thus the powder is light, fluffy, and plentiful. In low humidity, snow sublimates. Huh? When the snow melts it quickly goes from solid to gaseous state skipping the liquid water phase. In winter, skiers only value water as the fundamental ingredient for craft brews.
8. The sun shines as a great ball of fire high overhead every day.
9. There is a plethora of snow. It only snows in the evening. And snow it does. Snow-maker salesmen are always on unemployment in Utah! Awwww … did it again; correction “salespeople”.
10. Utah has worked through the once strict “dry” rules or “blue laws”. There was a time in the past century that one couldn’t order a drink with diner and expect fulfillment. You could buy a “membership” and thus in a private club, you could BYO. The convention was, wrap it in a brown paper bag and nobody would know or even suspect the truth. It was assumed you were just too stupid to take your soft drink out of the bag. So who’s really the dumb one? If you have to look around the room to answer that question, it’s definitely you.
Ah, those were the days. The anachronism was actually more price effective if you were a big consumer!
10. Utah is in the central Rockies. When forming a consolidating-group trip, participants can come from the west or the east with almost equal travel time, meeting in the middle.
11. The mountains are high with winded cornices atop.
12. The ravines are deep and natural jumps abundant with the aforementioned power for soft landings.
13. Woods were created there for glade runs (woods skiing for you native westerners)
OK … OK, my love affair is evident. Enough is almost enough. I’ve gotta relate a testimony from a newly-found friend. When pressed for his “chosen favorite”, he listed several great areas around Salt Lake. A single, final choice is impossible. It’s only answered by learning which mountain got the best dump the night before.
So why am I partial to Utah? Because I’ve skied it. Keep your powder dry … Come ski with me!